I’m a big believer in the power of language. The words we use with others and with ourselves have a profound effect. Breakthrough members all know that they don’t have a “weak” side – they have a strong side and a stronger side! Another word we like to be aware of in training at the gym is the word “can’t”.
My mom has a saying that she told us when we were kids: “Can’t never could.” I grew up believing, and still believe that is true – if you tell yourself you can’t, you are programing that to be true.
When our members are training, we encourage them to avoid using the word “can’t” when they are learning new exercises or trying something challenging. Just because you aren’t able to lift a certain amount, or make it through your interval training without taking extra rest today, doesn’t mean that you never will. Saying, “I can’t do it” just sets us up for failure the next time we try. Instead, we try to use phrases like, “I’ll give it my best,” or “It’s a work in progress,” or “Let me find the way to practice this.”
When it comes to nutrition, we’ve also found that the word “can’t” plays a powerful role. If you are working on improving your nutrition, and you tell yourself that you “can’t” have a certain food, you are likely to obsess more on the things you “can’t” have. And the truth is, you actually can have whatever you want. You’re an adult. It’s not that you can’t, it’s that you are choosing not to because you have made a decision that you want to eat in a way that supports your health and fitness goals. It’s a choice, and you are in control of that choice. That’s a pretty powerful thing!
Really, the word “can’t” comes up a lot, not just in terms of training and health, but in so many habits and situations. We tell ourselves we can’t stop doing things that no longer serve us, we can’t start new habits, we can’t afford things, we can’t find the time, we can’t figure things out. But when we pause to examine some of these scenarios in our personal lives, are these really “can’t”s?
Here is an exercise I heard of a while back that I found very powerful: next time you want to use the word “can’t” replace it with the word “won’t”. If we are being honest, often “won’t” (or “don’t want to”) is really what we mean. “I won’t find the time…” “I won’t afford to …” “I won’t break this down into smaller steps so I can figure it out…” Of course there are situations when “can’t” really is the truth, but I believe it’s not as often as we tell ourselves.
I encourage you to try bringing some awareness to your language and the words you choose. Be on the lookout for the word “can’t”, and look for opportunities to reprogram yourself when it comes to that word. Try the “can’t vs. won’t” exercise and you may be surprised at what you discover. Just go easy on yourself and allow yourself to discover with grace and gratitude for the lesson.
I believe, and I have seen that a “can do” attitude is a huge factor in determining success or failure. I truly believe that we absolutely CAN!